Most of us spend a huge amount of mental energy trying to push away fear, to block it from our minds completely. We live in a world of painkillers, tranquilizers, beta blockers and all sorts of more raucous solutions to fear; people will go to remarkable lengths to push aside the thoughts they least want to think.
Yet, as William Stafford suggests in For My Young Friends, it is only by allowing our fears in, by bending with them instead of trying rigidly to ignore them, that we can grow. Our fears are always on the edge of our vision, with us whether we acknowledge them or not. By understanding them better we can also understand ourselves. Fears are our motivations just as much as desires are. They are what makes us who we are, and what keeps us safe.
Running away may feel good in the short term – in fact, it can feel wonderful for a while. But if you’re always running and never engaging, you’ll find you’re facing in the wrong direction for your whole life. You’ll never have the chance to look back the way you came and feel proud.
Fears are not your enemies, they are your companions. Some of them are liars, and some of them are wise guides. Without getting to know them properly, you will never be able to determine which ones are which. Look your fears dead in the eye, and try to understand them. Don’t flinch, and don’t blink. You are not alone. Everyone is afraid. This is the world, and we all live here.
