In today’s typical workplace, disengaged employees are the
norm. In fact, research conducted by Gallup
shows that only 13% of employees worldwide are engaged in their work. And as we
all know, where there are disengaged employees, there’s usually complaining, gossiping,
and griping that follows.
It’s not that there’s no place for disappointment, anger or
annoyance at work. But I can guarantee you that your complaints are not doing
you or your career any favors. If they were, people would label them ‘proposals,’
‘negotiations,’ ‘solutions’ or ‘suggestions’.
Next time you feel the urge to reflexively complain, think
through these common perceptions of workplace whiners (by non-whiners). They
may just be the best deterrent when you have the need to gripe:
- They think you’re unproductive: It’s hard to be a top producer and also find the time to complain constantly. When you’re seen voicing grievances to your colleague in the lunchroom, for example, people assume that you’re consciously putting your energy there, rather than into your key responsibilities. It’s also obvious to others that in the time you spend complaining, you could be problem solving, researching ways to improve the situation or moving on to something else more substantive.
- They assume you complain about them, too: When you see the worst in colleagues or express your displeasure frequently about coworkers, people will see you as unsympathetic and critical. They will also make a very fair and immediate assumption: If you talk negatively about the person sitting in the cube next to you, you probably talk negatively about them too. Don’t brand yourself someone as someone who’s impossible to please; it sends the added message that you’re untouchable and everyone else is flawed.
- They don’t trust you: There’s a reason that the online reviews we tend to trust most are factual, fair and balanced in tone. The same is often true among the colleagues to whom we give the most credence. If you’re seen as a complainer, people will not respect your view in a meeting the same way they would someone who evenhandedly considers all angles. By complaining too much, you’re etching away at your credibility and essentially declaring to the world, “Don’t take my ideas very seriously, they’re probably negative, partial or one sided.”
- They think you can’t cope with change: At many companies, people’s first impulse upon learning about a change is displeasure. Even if this reflex is natural, there’s a competitive advantage in business (and in life) to getting from ‘Place A’ to ‘Place B’ quickly. If you come across as someone rigid or intolerant of ambiguity, you convey to others that you’re a slow adopter and a laggard; show them instead that you look for possibilities in change.
- They think you don’t take responsibility: One of the key reasons we complain is that when we pin the fault on someone else, we don’t have to look at our own behavior. And yet, in my interviews with top senior leaders, the higher an executive moves up, the more personal responsibility they need to take for their actions and results. A seasoned complainer rarely takes personal ownership – which only underscores the sense of powerless that got them complaining in the first place.
- They don’t want to be associated with you: Often, when you complain to a group, the implicit message is that you’re trying to rally support for your way of thinking. Not only is it bad for others’ health and welfare to listen to you, but you’ll find that colleagues will think twice before being linked to you. Whether on a client project, a new assignment or an internal committee, they know they don’t have a lot to gain from being partnered with a glass-half-empty kind of thinker.
When you complain, you’re not endearing yourself to anyone. Whether
you occasionally struggle with a victim mentality or have had your fair share
of true bad breaks, it’s reassuring to remember that when it comes to your own
behavior, you hold all the power and you always have a choice.
So be your own hero. Ride in on your own white horse to save
the day. And spare people’s ears the latest disappointment that has set you off.
