10 Foods That Actually Make You Eat More

BY Kurumi Fukushima

What if the type of food you're eating can alter brain function and promote overeating. That's right, certain foods can make you more hungry!

According to a 2013 study published in the American Journal of Clinical Nutrition by researchers at Harvard Medical School and Boston Children's Hospital, certain types of meals can increase hunger. More specifically, they found that a high glycemic index (or high-carb) meal stimulated the reward and craving regions of the brain, and affects eating behavior at your next meal.

And it's not just the foods high in carbohydrates. Thanks to a phenomenon known as sensory specific satiety, you can fill up on a whole bag of potato chips and feel like only your salty stomach is full. That leaves you wanting to fill up your sugary stomach, your sour stomach, your spicy stomach... well, you get the picture.

So, we've come up with a list of 10 foods that make you hungrier and eat more!

10. Alcohol

Who doesn't love a nice glass of vino at the end of a long day. Be careful.

Whether it's after a tough day at work, or a long night of partying, drinking alcohol is known to give you the 'munchies.' According to research published in Alcohol & Alcoholism, just three servings can lower levels of leptin, a hormone designed to keep hunger at bay, by 30%.

Scientists have found that alcohol directly interferes with the appetite controls of the brain called the hypothalamus, triggering this part of the brain to make us crave high calorie food.

9. White Pasta

If you look at the serving size of pasta, chances are you'd be shocked. One serving is one-half cup of cooked pasta.

It's hard to get full from eating one-half cup of pasta, right? Restaurants regularly serve up about four cups in a single entrée -- thats's eight servings you're eating!

When you overload your body with simple carbs, your pancreas goes into overdrive churning out insulin. Too much insulin as you know, drops your blood sugar levels, making you super hungry.

8. MSG

Monosodium glutamate or MSG is in many processed foods. It's a flavor-enhancer.

You've probably heard of it if you eat Chinese food or canned soups and veggies. One animal study from Spanish researchers concluded that the chemical triggers a 40% increase in appetite and could be one of the key factors behind the problem of obesity, El Pais reported.

To make things worse, the effects can compound over time, so the more frequently you eat MSG, the more you'll eat!

7. Pastries

The white flour used to bake most of these delicious treats have been stripped of the bran, its outer shell, leaving you without the grain's feel-full fiber content. Eating it spikes your insulin levels as well. Add to that the sugary jelly, custard cream, and chocolate to make whatever pastry and you get a food that does not fill your stomach for too long.

6. French fries

A potato is a starch made up of simple carbohydrates, which means our body absorbs and metabolizes it very quickly because of their small molecular size. Therefore, it will most cause an insulin surge.

The insulin surge causes too much blood sugar to be transported out of our blood and this results in our blood sugar levels to fall. Since our blood sugar level can affect how hungry and how energetic we feel, a drop below normal levels leave us feeling tired and hungry and wanting to eat more.

It also makes us want to eat something else with a high sugar content -- which of course, starts the cycle all over again.

Add to that, the hydrogenated vegetable oil used to fry them plus the salt to top it off. Not healthy at all.

5. Pizza

Let's take a look at the making of a pizza pie. It's generally a combination of white flour dough, hydrogenated oils, processed cheeses, and preservatives that makes a delicious easy dinner for all. But, it's on this list for a reason. Those four ingredients can throw off your blood sugar levels, satiety hormone production, and hunger-regulating regions of your brain.

Stay away from those tempting dollar slices.

4. White bread

Similar to pastries, white bread is made of white flour, spiking your insulin levels. It is a high hypoglycemic index food, so it's digested quickly, leaving you hungry and maybe even eating more than you had planned to eat.

Opt for whole wheat bread which contains the bran to get that fiber, and keep you full for longer!

3. Juices

Let's think about how juices are made. The drink fools many people because it's made of fruits and vegetables which sounds healthy.

But in the juicing process you are removing all the fiber and are simply left with a sugary drink. Fiber is key to keeping you full. Just like choosing whole wheat bread instead of white bread, you might be better off by eating a whole fruit instead of drinking fruit juice.

2. Kids' cereals

Or any other cereals with high sugar content and a low amount of dietary fiber. These unhealthy cereals will lead to a spike initially, then a crash in sugar levels.

And we've already told you what happens when your blood sugar levels are lower than normal...

1. Artificial sweeteners

Put down that yellow, pink, or blue colored packet of artificial sweetener. Every time you drink a diet soda that's artificially sweetened, or you put an artificial sweetener in your coffee, your brain expects the energy boost you would get from ordinary sugars. But when it doesn't get it, the body tries to make up for the lack of energy it's expecting, and creates hunger!

The artificial sweeteners can satisfy your taste buds for a moment, but can't fool the brain into producing dopamine, which is linked to a feeling of reward. Therefore, these sugar substitutes are not really substitutes, as artificial sweeteners make you more likely to binge on sugar later.

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Breathing Techniques

Proper breathing is the very essence of life. It is how our vibration works and why it happens. Breathing is the most important life function we perform. It regulates the heartbeat. Proper deep breathing is a natural way to increase the energy level and the enjoyment of life. It is the method we use to take in oxygen, which enables us to perform the activities of life and as a way of eliminating 70 percent of all the wastes generated by the body.

The practice of deep breathing exercises accelerates the intake of oxygen. Oxygen is the most important chemical in the body. It is a powerful stimulant. The body requires about 88 pounds of oxygen daily. Its main function is purification. Hemoglobin, the red element in the blood, is an iron molecule that is magnetic. It reacts to vibration to produce the oxygen carrying component of the blood. Iron is a positive ion and oxygen is a negative ion. Negative ions are attracted to hemoglobin. These are the most abundant substances in the body. Deep breathing recharges the hemoglobin.

We take approximately 21,600 breaths of air each day. The slower and deeper the breathing, the longer the life span. Rhythmic deep breathing is Nature's tranquilizer and can be used to reduce stress and release pain.

Learn to breathe energy as well as air. The result will be increased electromagnetic flow into your body, which will bring up suppressed feelings. When you learn to open your breath and relax in the presence of your feelings, you align yourself with your natural healing flow of aliveness. Your awareness will be heightened, old behavior patterns will disappear and physical dis-ease will be replaced with health and youth. The reults are permanent.

Conscious connected breathing is communication with the source of life and a deep peace within ourselves. With proper breathing the physical body feels lighter, freer and we are clearer in our thinking. We will experience a more joyous outlook, emotionally we will be calmer and more serene in dealing with the situations that arise in our daily lives. During tense or anxious times, pause for a moment and become aware of your breathing. Breath slowly and deeply. With each breath comes an increase in peace. The key is to become mindful of the breathing process. The easiest way to focus in the present is to spend time consciously breathing deep into your lungs. Continue this practice until you do not have to think about the process, then it will become automatic. Conscious connected breathing allows us to live in the now.


Breath of Fire

This exercise is done while sitting in a chair or on the floor. Take a deep breath in through the nose, then exhale quickly and forcefully, out through the mouth. Inhalation through the nose will happen naturally after each exhalation. Placement of hands is optional. It must be performed for one full minute followed by one minute of rest and then another minute of breathing exercise for a total of five minutes. This technique helps in the metabolism of fat. Avoid cold drinks afterwards. This activity is equivalent to running two miles.

***

GLAD NOT BEING PSYCHOPATHIC

Your place on the psychopathic spectrum

YOUR
SCORE 36%

Though your conscience is in the right place you also have a pragmatic streak and generally aren’t afraid to do your own dirty work! You’re no shrinking violet - but no daredevil either. You generally have little trouble seeing things from another person’s perspective but, at the same time, are no pushover. ‘Everything in moderation – including moderation’ might sum up your approach to life.

ABOUT THE PSYCHOPATHIC SPECTRUM

When most people think of psychopaths, Hannibal Lecter typically springs to mind! But actually, being psychopathic doesn't necessarily mean that you're a serial killer – or even that you'll break the law.

Some of us may score higher on some psychopathic traits than on others. But unless you score high on all of them, you don't really have anything to worry about! Another misconception about psychopaths concerns diagnosis. A lot of people think that you're either a psychopath or you're not, that it's all very black and white. But there is evidence to suggest that it's not as clear-cut as this. In fact, psychopathy – like height and weight, for example – lies on a spectrum.

This test is not a diagnostic tool nor is it psychometrically validated. It cannot be used to clinically diagnose psychopathic personality or any mental illness.

Within the framework of clinical psychology, a psychopath is someone with a distinct cluster of personality traits including ruthlessness, fearlessness, narcissism, charm, charisma, impulsivity, persuasiveness, manipulation and a lack of conscience and empathy. Sure, these traits may well come in handy if you aspire to be an axe-murderer! But they can also come in handy in the courtroom, on the trading floor, or in the operating theatre. It just depends on what else you've got going on in your personality, and the start you get in life.

At the sharp end you may well find your serial killers and axe murderers but, all of us have our place at some point along the continuum.

** I preferred pop, dog and bbc.

Effects of Low-Carbohydrate and Low-Fat Diets: A Randomized Trial

CONCLUSION

The low-carbohydrate diet was more effective for weight loss and cardiovascular risk factor reduction than the low-fat diet. Restricting carbohydrate may be an option for persons seeking to lose weight and reduce cardiovascular risk factors. ~ American College of Physicians

***

Complaining Ruins Your Reputation

By Selena Rezvani

In today’s typical workplace, disengaged employees are the norm. In fact, research conducted by Gallup shows that only 13% of employees worldwide are engaged in their work. And as we all know, where there are disengaged employees, there’s usually complaining, gossiping, and griping that follows.

It’s not that there’s no place for disappointment, anger or annoyance at work. But I can guarantee you that your complaints are not doing you or your career any favors. If they were, people would label them ‘proposals,’ ‘negotiations,’ ‘solutions’ or ‘suggestions’.

Next time you feel the urge to reflexively complain, think through these common perceptions of workplace whiners (by non-whiners). They may just be the best deterrent when you have the need to gripe:

• They think you’re unproductive: It’s hard to be a top producer and also find the time to complain constantly. When you’re seen voicing grievances to your colleague in the lunchroom, for example, people assume that you’re consciously putting your energy there, rather than into your key responsibilities. It’s also obvious to others that in the time you spend complaining, you could be problem solving, researching ways to improve the situation or moving on to something else more substantive.
•  
• They assume you complain about them, too:  When you see the worst in colleagues or express your displeasure frequently about coworkers, people will see you as unsympathetic and critical. They will also make a very fair and immediate assumption: If you talk negatively about the person sitting in the cube next to you, you probably talk negatively about them too. Don’t brand yourself someone as someone who’s impossible to please; it sends the added message that you’re untouchable and everyone else is flawed.
•  
• They don’t trust you: There’s a reason that the online reviews we tend to trust most are factual, fair and balanced in tone. The same is often true among the colleagues to whom we give the most credence. If you’re seen as a complainer, people will not respect your view in a meeting the same way they would someone who evenhandedly considers all angles. By complaining too much, you’re etching away at your credibility and essentially declaring to the world, “Don’t take my ideas very seriously, they’re probably negative, partial or one sided.”
•  
• They think you can’t cope with change:  At many companies, people’s first impulse upon learning about a change is displeasure. Even if this reflex is natural, there’s a competitive advantage in business (and in life) to getting from ‘Place A’ to ‘Place B’ quickly. If you come across as someone rigid or intolerant of ambiguity, you convey to others that you’re a slow adopter and a laggard; show them instead that you look for possibilities in change.
•  
• They think you don’t take responsibility: One of the key reasons we complain is that when we pin the fault on someone else, we don’t have to look at our own behavior. And yet, in my interviews with top senior leaders, the higher an executive moves up, the more personal responsibility they need to take for their actions and results. A seasoned complainer rarely takes personal ownership – which only underscores the sense of powerless that got them complaining in the first place.
•  
• They don’t want to be associated with you: Often, when you complain to a group, the implicit message is that you’re trying to rally support for your way of thinking. Not only is it bad for others’ health and welfare to listen to you, but you’ll find that colleagues will think twice before being linked to you. Whether on a client project, a new assignment or an internal committee, they know they don’t have a lot to gain from being partnered with a glass-half-empty kind of thinker.

When you complain, you’re not endearing yourself to anyone. Whether you occasionally struggle with a victim mentality or have had your fair share of true bad breaks, it’s reassuring to remember that when it comes to your own behavior, you hold all the power and you always have a choice.

So be your own hero. Ride in on your own white horse to save the day. And spare people’s ears the latest disappointment that has set you off.

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4 Mental Health Conditions

By Madeline Vann, MPH

Mental disorders like depression, anxiety, OCD, and bipolar disorder all have warning signs. Find out what they are and when to get help.

Everyone has good days and bad days — even good years and bad years — but you should be concerned when the signs of depression, anxiety, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), or bipolar disorder make it difficult to carry out the tasks of everyday life. Challenging emotions can arise in any situation, from work to relationships, and you want to act before they seriously interfere with your ability to function.

Mental Health: 5 Signs of Clinical Depression 

“You determine clinical depression by two measures. One is by time and one is by severity — impact on function. When you have severe symptoms that last at least two weeks and are interfering with fundamental basic functions, it falls into the realm of clinical depression,” explains psychiatrist Jill RachBeisel, MD, associate professor of psychiatry of the University of Maryland School of Medicine in Baltimore.

There are many symptoms of depression, but most common among people with clinical depression are changes in:

1. Appetite. “In clinical depression you lose your appetite completely, and you stop eating, or you eat very little,” says Dr. RachBeisel.
2. Sleep. When clinical depression sets in, you may have consistent, severe insomnia and be unable to sleep well almost every night.
3. Concentration. “Someone might find themselves unable to maintain focus on simple activities like watching a TV program or reading a newspaper article,” says RachBeisel. You may not be able to focus on a recipe for dinner or tasks at work.
4. Energy level. “With severe clinical depression your energy is so low you have trouble getting out of bed in the morning or carrying through your basic activities of daily living. People find themselves lying in bed and staying in pajamas all day long,” RachBeisel explains.
5. Interest in activities that one would normally enjoy. This may mean that you no longer care about shaving or styling your hair, for example, or about bigger issues, like caring for your children.

At its most severe, clinical depression can lead to suicide. Having thoughts like “My family would be better off without me” is a warning sign.

Mental Health: 5 Signs of Anxiety

“We all should have a little anxiety on board because when you think about it, what makes you really perform well is you get a little anxious,” says RachBeisel. These, however, are signs that you may need help with your anxiety level:

1. You can’t follow a conversation or complete a basic task.
2. You can’t do what other people do; for example, a fear of crossing bridges prevents you from seeing the other side of town.
3. You find yourself avoiding family gatherings or office parties due to social anxiety.
4. You worry that in a crowded room people are looking at you or talking about you.
5. You may avoid projects that require public speaking or presenting your work.

Mental Health: 5 Signs of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

Obsessive-compulsive disorder is on the extreme end of the anxiety spectrum.

“People with OCD are so anxious, they have intrusive thoughts that are irrational, and they can’t get the thoughts out of their head. So what they do is develop behaviors to cope with the anxiety,” says RachBeisel. These behaviors or rituals may be so time-consuming that you can’t get to work (or anywhere) on time, and may even prevent you from working. For example, you may:

1. Wash your hands 20 to 30 times a day.
2. Count 15 cars before you can park.
3. Spend hours checking the door and window locks before going to bed.
4. Spend hours bathing.
5. Repeat work tasks multiple times to make sure they are perfect.

Mental Health: 5 Signs of Bipolar Disorder

“A person with bipolar disorder is someone who has severe mood swings,” says RachBeisel. During the depressed phase, the signs of clinical depression appear, but people with bipolar disorder also experience a manic phase during which they may have a lot of energy and positive feelings about themselves. Signs of mania are:

1. Mood swings. Examples are elevated mood or extreme irritability.
2. Fast speech. “You can’t get a word in edgewise and you have to ask them to slow down,” says RachBeisel.
3. No need for sleep. People with pipolar disorder may stay up all night for many days cleaning, painting walls, or doing laundry.
4. Overextended. An overly high estimation of themselves leads to commitments they can’t possibly keep, such as taking on jobs they don’t have the skills to do.
5. Excessive behaviors. Charging tens of thousands of dollars or having sex with casual acquaintances are just two examples.

Mental Health: How to Get Help

If you suspect that you have signs of one of these mental health conditions, RachBeisel advises that you:

1. Call your primary care doctor and ask for a referral so you can get evaluated by a specialist.
2. Call a local suicide hotline if you are experiencing severe symptoms.
3. Contact your local health department for a list of mental health services.

By knowing the signs of these common mental health conditions, you'll be better equipped to recognize when you, or someone you love, may need professional help.

***

Let Go and Be Free

Trapping smaller monkeys is a relatively easy occupation, and is achieved by setting up a snare exploiting a monkey’s curiosity.

 A narrow necked ceramic/clay bottle with a bulbous bottom, similar to a Carafe, is tethered to a stake in the ground or a small tree using a vine or rope fastened around the narrow neck.

Various items such as nuts or firm fruit are put inside the bottle or vessel and left in locations where monkeys are known to inhabit. The monkey’s curiosity is aroused by the vessel and will put his hand into the jar to find what is contained, will grasp the bait and will attempt to remove them within their clenched fist. They are trapped by curiosity, and are unwilling to release the contents within their clenched fist. We might consider the monkey foolish, since to escape the trap, all they need to do is to release the bait!

"IF YOU WANT TO BE FREE, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS LET GO."

Finger Length and Sexuality

How to Deal With Impossible People

by Self Carers

Most people know someone who seems to make every situation toxic and impossible. Pointing out that these people are difficult and demanding won’t get you anywhere, they don’t even see a problem. Whether the issue is caused by a personality disorder or some other underlying issue, you can learn how to deal with impossible people and preserve your own sanity.

How to Handle Conflicts

Resist the urge to be defensive. Understand very clearly that you cannot beat these kinds of people; they’re called “impossible” for a reason. In their minds, you are the source of all wrongdoing, and nothing you can say is going to make them consider your side of the story. Your opinion is of no consequence, because you are already guilty, no matter what.

Do not call out the other person. Bluntly stating the problem will not improve your relationship with someone who is impossible. Instead of reaching a reconciliation, he or she will likely just become more difficult. Recognize that you can’t handle this like you would any other personal conflict — it’s a special situation.

• In some ways, they need to be treated like children. Give up all hope of engaging these folks in any kind of reasonable conversation. It will never happen, at least with you. Remember what happened in the course of the last fifty times you tried to have a civilized discussion about the status of your relationship with this person. Chances are, every such attempt ended in you being blamed for everything. Decide now to quit banging your head against a brick wall.

Accept the situation. Impossible people exist; there isn’t a thing you can do about it. The first step is all about facing reality: if you think you might be dealing with an impossible person, you’re probably right. When in doubt, proceed as instructed below. The headaches you save will be your own.

Remember to “detach, disassociate and diffuse.“ When you’re in the middle of a conflict with an impossible person, use this strategy:

• Detach: Staying calm in the heat of the moment is paramount to your personal preservation. Spitting angry words, reacting with extreme emotions such as crying, will only stimulate them to do more of the difficult behavior.
• Disassociate: Remove yourself from the situation and treat it with indifference. Do not, under any circumstances bad talk to their face or to anyone else because then you are sinking down to their level. Add something positive by redirection such as by focusing on something, anything, positive in the situation or in the conversation. Whatever you do just stay calm!
• Diffuse: It can help to realize that the side of a conversation that contains the most truth will always win out, and it’s best to “name the game” that an impossible person is playing, usually by asking them or the group a question that starts “Why…,” (rephrasing their “impossible” position to illuminate the consequences). You will move the conversation to a higher level, and the group, or even just the impossible individual, in a one-on-one, will respond to this “higher truth,” although the individual will usually respond by (more) obfuscating.

Understand that it’s not you, it’s them. This can be surprisingly difficult, considering that impossible people have complete mastery of shifting the blame. Chances are, the more often they blame you, the more they themselves are actually at fault.

• Keep in mind that this is not to be used as a way to blame them. Blaming is what impossible people do, and they do it well. Instead, you are only facing the facts, for your own sake.
• That being said, here’s a simple way to tell: if you accept responsibility for your own faults and resolve to improve yourself, it’s probably not you. Remember, impossible people “can do no wrong.”

Prepare for projection. Understand that you are going to be accused of much (or all) of this behavior yourself. If your impossible person gets a look at this text, to them it will look like a page about you. Prepare yourself for the fact that the impossible person’s flaws and failings will always be attributed to you.

• Remember, in their minds, you are at fault for everything! They will have an endless supply of arguments to support this, and if you make the mistake of encouraging them, they will be more than happy to tell you why you are the impossible person, and how ironic it is that you are under the mistaken impression that it is them.

Guard against anger. If it helps, consider the fact that your anger is actually aprecious gift to the impossible person. Anything you do or say while angry will be used against you over and over again. Impossible people tend to have amazing memories, and they will not hesitate to use a nearly endless laundry list of complaints from the past against you. Five years from now, you could be hearing about the angry remark you made today (which you didn’t even mean in the first place). Impossible people will seize anything that provides them the opportunity to lay blame like it was gold.

Long-Term Management

Be a manager. Until it is over, your task in the relationship is to manage the impossible person, so that he or she deals less damage to you.

• As a manager, your best resources are silence (it really is golden in some cases such as this), humoring the other, and abandoning all hope of “fixing” the impossible person. Impossible people do not listen to reason. They can’t (and even if they could, they wouldn’t).
• Recognize that you can’t convince them that they have any responsibility for the problems between you. They don’t recognize (or if they did, wouldn’t try to improve) their flaws for a very logical reason; they don’t have any flaws. You must understand and manage this mindset without casting blame and without giving in to anger. It’s far easier said than done, and you will slip from time to time, but as time goes on, you’ll become a better manager.

Don’t get cornered. Avoid one-on-ones with this type of person, actively; in other words, when you see them coming to corner you, suggest, and then demand that at least a third party be brought in. This will often thwart the impossible person’s plans, and a typical response from them will be to unilaterally decide that “we don’t need anyone else.” You are perfectly free to claim your need for a third party to help your understanding, and insist upon it. Bullies never stand up to a crowd.

Consider that it might be a question of compatibility. Sometimes, a person who gets along with everybody else quite well is an impossible person for you personally. Most relationships between people contain many shades of gray, but some people simply mix as well as oil and water.

• It is common to hear your impossible person proclaim “Everyone else likes me.” This is an attempt to shift the blame to you, so don’t buy it. It doesn’t matter how this person interacts with others. The fact is, the way the two of you interact together is terrible. Remember that blame never changes the facts.

Prepare to part ways. Understand that eventually, you’ll have to create a separation between yourself and an impossible person. Whether they are a friend, a family member, a parent, even a spouse, the time to leave will eventually manifest. Maintaining a relationship with an impossible person is, literally, impossible.

• If you can’t (or won’t) make a physical departure immediately, make a mental one. In your mind, you’ve already left the relationship. The only thing left to do is wait for physical reality to reflect that fact.
• If this person is a spouse, and you plan to stay with them, try to recognize the places you cannot tread (i.e. The subjects that make the person impossible). Avoid, as completely as possible, bringing up these subjects. Keep to yourself. Find a truly wonderful hobby, and focus on it. If you are religious, focus on your religion. Read about Narcissistic Personality Disorder — this is a definite possibility. Even if it seems to you that they do not have NPD, read the articles about how to deal with them, because following the advice in the articles you find may help you.

Protect your self-esteem. If you have regular dealings with someone who tries to portray you as the source of all evil, you need to take active steps to maintain a positive self-image. Focus on the people who validate you. Realize that this person is hurting you on purpose to improve his or her self-image. When he or she comes out with a statement that is designed to hurt you, realize this; realize why he saying that — to get people to tell him that he’s awesome. You are bigger and better than this person if you’re not lowering yourself to this level.

• Remind yourself that this person’s opinion is not necessarily the truth. Understand that oftentimes, impossible people are particularly “fact-challenged.”
• If the attacks have little basis in raw fact, dismiss them. You can’t possibly be as bad as this person would like you to believe you are. Do not defend yourself out loud, however. It will only provoke the impossible person into another tirade.

Avoid picking up impossible traits. If you aren’t careful, you could find yourself adopting much of the offender’s own behavior, even if you aren’t voluntarily trying. Issue blame entirely by understanding that this is just the way the other person is. These things define the impossible person’s actions, and nothing you do can change any part of their past.

Be the opposite of them: a possible person. Live as an example of tolerance, patience, humility, and kindness.

• We are all influenced by the people in our environment — they don’t have to be perfect all the time and neither do you. Give respect because you are human. If you don’t receive respect, that’s -sadly- their problem. Give understanding, and you get understanding. Ultimately this sort of behavior is probably the only thing that might get through to them. They may not change in everything, but you can safely expect a change.

Protect your privacy. Impossible people will use any information on your personal life however small as a trump card against you. They can spin stories about you to other people (especially those close to you both) on a simple comment you made over lunch. Since they are specialists in manipulation, they are very good at making you talk.

• Impossible people are good at seeming normal, and unless you are very convinced of who you are and where you stand in relation to the slight madness of this person, there will be times where you think “Hey, she’s not so bad after all. I guess I could tell her what I am going through these days….” Big mistake! It will come back to you when you least expect it, in the most dirty and manipulative way. Things shared in confidence late night at the office between the two of you can be used in an ice cold analysis in front of the whole company in a moment where the impossible person needs to get on top of you. He/she will spare no information to prove to others how well they know you, and such know what the best way to “handle” you is.

TIPS

• When you make your escape from the impossible person stay away. Don’t ever go back once you break away — no matter how much you love them or they say they’ve changed.
• When the impossible person is abusing or slandering you, other people will start to show sympathy towards you. You don’t need to do anything to make them look bad; she/he just digs his/her grave with no help from you. If s/he is angering you, others are also likely to be annoyed.
• Be detached from anything they say whether it’s a compliment or criticism. If you give them power to build you up, then you also give them power to knock you down. Learn to develop a sense of self worth from within.

Power

Breathe

by Leo Babauta.

Breathe.

Breathing can transform your life.

If you feel stressed out and overwhelmed, breathe. It will calm you and release the tensions.

If you are worried about something coming up, or caught up in something that already happened, breathe. It will bring you back to the present.

If you are discouraged and have forgotten your purpose in life, breathe. It will remind you about how precious life is, and that each breath in this life is a gift you need to appreciate. Make the most of this gift.

If you have too many tasks to do, or are scattered during your workday, breathe. It will help bring you into focus, to concentrate on the most important task you need to be focusing on right now.

If you are spending time with someone you love, breathe. It will allow you to be present with that person, rather than thinking about work or other things you need to do.

If you are exercising, breathe. It will help you enjoy the exercise, and therefore stick with it for longer.

If you are moving too fast, breathe. It will remind you to slow down, and enjoy life more.

So breathe. And enjoy each moment of this life. They’re too fleeting and few to waste.

BREATHE

Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam

by Richard Le Gallienne

Nor idle I who speak it, nor profane, 

This playful wisdom growing out of pain; 

How many midnights whitened into morn 

Before the seeker knew he sought in vain. 

You want to know the Secret--so did I, 

Low in the dust I sought it, and on high 

Sought it in awful flight from star to star, 

The Sultan's watchman of the starry sky. 

Up, up, where Parwin's hoofs stamp heaven's floor, 

My soul went knocking at each starry door, 

Till on the stilly top of heaven's stair, 

Clear-eyed I looked--and laughed--and climbed no more. 

Of all my seeking this is all my gain: 

No agony of any mortal brain 

Shall wrest the secret of the life of man; 

The Search has taught me that the Search is vain. 

Yet sometimes on a sudden all seems clear-- 

Hush! hush! my soul, the Secret draweth near; 

Make silence ready for the speech divine-- 

If Heaven should speak, and there be none to hear! 

Yea! sometimes on the instant all seems plain, 

The simple sun could tell us, or the rain; 

The world, caught dreaming with a look of heaven, 

Seems on a sudden tip-toe to explain. 

Like to a maid who exquisitely turns 

A promising face to him who, waiting, burns 

In hell to hear her answer--so the world 

Tricks all, and hints what no man ever learns. 

Look not above, there is no answer there; 

Pray not, for no one listens to your prayer; 

Near is as near to God as any Far, 

And Here is just the same deceit as There. 

To me there is much comfort in the thought 

That all our agonies can alter nought, 

Our lives are written to their latest word, 

We but repeat a lesson He hath taught. 

So since with all my passion and my skill, 

The world's mysterious meaning mocks me still, 

Shall I not piously believe that I 

Am kept in darkness by the heavenly will? 

And do you think that unto such as you, 

A maggot-minded, starved, fanatic crew, 

God gave the Secret, and denied it me?-- 

Well, well, what matters it! believe that too. 

Happiness Mind Map

by Adam Sicinski

There are 33 keys of 5 fundamental aspects of life that deserve our wholehearted attention and care. Identify them, attend to them and fulfill their longings, and you will experience the joys and feelings of unbridled childlike happiness.

Cultivating a Happy Body

Our body is a vessel. It is the ship that sails us to our desired objectives and destinations. When the ship is properly maintained and cleaned, it sparkles with unbridled energy and radiance like a warm smile greeting us a good morning. In order to truly find long lasting and fulfilling happiness we must take care of our bodies. When our body feels good, it makes it easier to smile, to find happiness and joy in other areas of our lives. And this is exactly what this branch of the Study Matrix is about – cultivating a happy body.

1. Smile Often – Turn your frown :( upside down :) A simple smile is such a wonderful thing that will immediately generate feelings of joy and happiness. Smiling often will stimulate wonderful feelings and sensations in your body helping you find more fulfillment throughout your day.
2. Partake in Regular Exercise – Exercise encourages movement, deep breathing and releases built up stress. Partaking in regular, controlled exercise will generate wonderful invigorating feelings from deep within your body. This will lead to more happiness and joy in your life.
3. Eat Healthy – Some foods can leave us sluggish and weak. Feeling rundown and low on energy will stir up unresourceful emotions which will lead to unpleasant and lackluster feelings. Focus on eating plenty of watery foods including fruits, vegetables, legumes, beans, etc. Also drink plenty of room temperature fluids throughout your day. This will stabilize your energy and keep happiness at the forefront of your mind.
4. Sleep Restfully – The quality of our sleep patterns will effectively determine the quality of the emotions we experience throughout the day. Make sure to develop a good sleeping routine that provides you enough rest for your body, spirit and mind.

Cultivating Happy Actions

Our actions determine our results in life. When we take ill-fated actions, we experience the consequences of those decisions through stress, anxiety and despair. On the other hand, when we take actions that are sprinkled with happiness dust :), our outcomes are immediately transformed and we experience the consequences of a fulfilling and extraordinary existence. This branch of the Study Matrix breaks down some simple actions you can take on a daily basis that will bring a greater sense of joy and fulfillment to your daily undertakings.

5. Experiment with Living – A mundane boring life can only lead to sluggish feelings that will weigh heavily on your body and mind. Choose instead to experiment a little, to partake in new activities and to fully enjoy great experiences that will leave your life with no regrets and plenty of unforgettable memories.
6. Set Goals – When we have nothing to aim for, we struggle to find the motivation to get through our days. Decide today to set new goals and objectives that will move you into disciplined thought and action. The more inspiring the goals, the greater amount of joy, happiness and fulfillment you will find within your life.
7. Prioritize – Our daily tasks and chores can easily overwhelm us if we are unable to manage them effectively. The solution rests in developing the habit of prioritizing all your tasks and activities into easily manageable and workable chunks. The more proficient you become at prioritizing your life, the more effective you will be, the more time you will have on hand, and the greater sense of happiness and fulfillment you will experience within your life.
8. Seek New Learnings – When we fail to learn, grow and reach our full potential in any area of our life, we tend to experience an emptiness within the pit of our stomachs that breeds many unresourceful and dissatisfied emotions. If you suffer from this condition, simply take time to learn something new. Learn a new skill, develop a new talent, enhance your knowledge in a certain niche area of your life, or simply ask someone to teach you something that you have very little knowledge about. When you learn you will grow, and as you grow you will experience the joys of living to your fullest potential. The outcome always results in a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction in life.
9. Simplify Your Life – We struggle to get by in life because we simply take on board too many responsibilities, collect too much clutter and involve ourselves in mundane tasks and activities that deflate the spirit and weaken the mind. Tomorrow, step into your life as a new person, and begin to simplify every aspect of your reality. Get rid of the junk, cut down on the responsibilities and simplify everything that is useless and clutters your mind with too many thoughts and unnecessary emotions. Simplifying your life in this manner will be like stepping out of a prison after many years of mental and physical torture. This can only breed great joy, excitement and happiness into your life.
10. Celebrate Your Achievements – Life is there to be enjoyed to its fullest. If you successfully reach your goals and objectives, than take a timeout to celebrate your accomplishments with your family, friends and loved ones. Celebrations will help inspire, motivate and move you towards even greater goals and objectives, bringing great joy and fulfillment into your life.
11. Slow the Pace Down – Sometimes our busyness gets the better of us. We feel fulfilled and somewhat happy because we are moving at such a fast past, yet there is still that emptiness that lingers within the pit of our stomachs that is longing for something more. “More” comes when you stop and slowdown, change your pace and take time to smell the roses, tell someone you love them, and revel in the finer pleasures of life that bring you the greatest joy and happiness.
12. Act through Your Passions – Your passions are the things that raise your energy, that bring you great satisfaction, and help you experience your world to its fullest. Regularly partake in your favorite hobbies, watch your kids play sports, and simply take charge of your life by creatively bringing your passions into your daily activities, thoughts and actions.

Cultivating a Happy Self

Our external happiness is primarily dependent on the internal happiness we feel within ourselves at any one moment in time. Our happiness always radiates out from within. Hence if we have little happiness to give, than we will likewise struggle to receive that which is given to us by others. This branch of the Study Matrix focuses on some simple strategies you can immediately bring forth into your life that will enhance and accentuate the happiness you feel within yourself.

13. Pamper Yourself – It is so very easy for us to become stressed, anxious and overwhelmed as we go about our everyday ritualistic activities. During these periods we tend to forget about ourselves, our needs and our obligations to the ongoing wellbeing of our mind, spirit and body. The solution is to take time on weekly basis for some “Me Time”. Take a warm bath, get a relaxing massage, visit a spa, go to the gym, or simply take a walk in nature and spend some time with just your thoughts. These breaks will allow you to recharge your batteries and will help you to find the happiness and fulfillment you might be missing in your life.
14. Find Humor and Laughter – Laughter will not only relieve your stress and the built-up tension within your body, it can also heal the soul and bring forth a vast amount of creative energy that will enhance and improve your day. Take timeouts throughout your days to laugh, to giggle like a school kid, to tell a funny joke to a friend, watch a sitcom on TV, or to simply make fun of yourself at the most awkward of moments. The more fun you have with this, the greater sense of joy and fulfillment you will experience in your life.
15. Seek Inspiration – We struggle at times throughout the year because we lack the inspiration to move us forward. Inspiration is a state of mind that we must learn to cultivate as often as possible. It will help move us in thought and action, bringing a greater sense of joy and satisfaction into our lives. You can find inspiration in nature, by reading a book, by watching an inspirational movie, or simply through listening to your favorite piece of music. It does not matter how you go about finding your inspiration, as long as you work towards it each and everyday.
16. Learn to Accept Your Circumstances – Our circumstances are what they are. Sometimes we have full control over them, while at other times we simply cannot influence them no matter what we do. As you go about your daily undertakings, it is important that you do not allow them to dictate the emotions that you experience within the moment. The one thing that you can control at all times is your pattern of thought. And it is your thought process (how you perceive a circumstance) that will determine how and what you feel at the end of the day. In fact there is no good or bad, it is rather how we perceive it to be. Start today by taking charge of your thought process, and bringing forth only happy feelings of joy and fulfillment into your life.
17. Choose to be Happy – This is an easy one. Simply choose that you will be happy every moment of your day no matter what happens. Wake up in the morning and decide that you will be happy for the remainder of this day. If you are experiencing some difficult setbacks, than decide to be happy just for the next hour, and see what happens. Happiness is at all times your choice to make.
18. Become Aware of Your Thoughts – True happiness begins in the mind. Pay attention to your everyday thoughts and the self-talk you allow to dominate your thinking habits. These thoughts will trigger instant feelings and emotions that will take over your entire body and mind. By becoming aware of these thoughts, you are essentially taking charge of the emotions you allow to dominate your decisions and actions at any moment in time. Choose your thoughts wisely and happiness will “think” its way through into your life.

Cultivating Happy Interactions

Sometimes happiness just seems too elusive and hard to achieve. It seems that no matter what we do, we just can’t seem to find that fulfillment and joy we have been searching for all our lives. In instances such as these, it is important to direct your energy outwards and touch the hearts of other people. We are naturally social beings, who seek support, encouragement and warmth from other like-minded individuals. The moment you begin directing your energy to make others happy, you will likewise tap into the reservoirs of the personal joy that rests deep within your heart. This branch of the Study Matrix focuses on finding joy and happiness through the process of building strong emotional relationships with others.

19. Forgive Others – Holding onto ill-feelings towards others will only poison your mind and suffocate your soul. This will lead to many unresourceful emotions that will sabotage the happiness you desire to experience within your life. Take time today to forgive others for their indiscretions. If you find it difficult to forgive them openly, than write them a letter or simply close your eyes and genuinely tell them how you feel from the bottom of your heart. Only once this forgiveness has been released into the Universe, will you once again be free of the shackles that bind your emotions to the ground.
20. Connect with Others – Loneliness can be an incredibly debilitating experience that can lead to many dirty and self-sabotaging unresourceful emotions of sadness, anger, sorrow and depression. Our emotions are like two sides of a mask. You cannot experience one type of emotion and its polar opposite at the same time. Decide today to switch that mask around and connect with other people through email, via telephone or in person. Tell them about your life, ask them questions about their experiences, goals and ambitions. It doesn’t matter how you connect, as long as you take the time to reach out to someone and ground yourself within their presence.
21. Associate with Happy People – Happy people are those who will raise your energy through the roof the moment they walk into a room. Happy people are those who will inspire and motivate you when you are feeling down. Yes, happy people can indeed even cure your emotional self-sabotaging ways with a simple smile and giggle. Find these people within your community, school or group and work your way into their circle of friends.
22. Volunteer Your Time and Energy – Believe it or not, there are actually people in this world who are much more disadvantaged than you. In fact, they are very unhappy and dissatisfied with their lives, and they are looking for inspiring individuals like yourself to bring some joy and fulfillment into their daily existence. Take time each week or month to volunteer your time to a charitable cause. Make an effort to bring joy and happiness into these people’s lives as best you can. You may actually be rather surprised how much warmth, satisfaction and fulfillment this can bring into your life. Sometimes through helping others find happiness, we end up finding it within ourselves.
23. Partake in Random Acts of Kindness – Keep an ear out and pay attention to the events in other people’s lives. The moment you see an opportunity open up, decide to help them out in someway through a random act of kindness. Simply do something for them that they cannot do for themselves. The key here is to take no credit for your random acts of kindness. You will find greater fulfillment and satisfaction knowing that you helped someone because of the goodness of your heart – without obligating them to return the favor.
24. Be Happy for Others – Sometimes we see wonderful things sprouting in other people’s lives and we somewhat feel happy for them, and yet at other times we feel small, inadequate and kind of jealous that we are not experiencing these same emotions. By consciously deciding to be happy for other people no matter what is currently transpiring within your experience, you will be sending positive vibrations into the Universe that will one day boomerang back into your life.

Cultivating a Happy Mindset

Our mind is a strange and mysterious thing. At one moment it can lead us into the pitfalls of despair, while during another moment, it can help us scale the heights of the highest emotional mountain peeks. It has been said that we become what we think about most of the time. Hence, if our mind struggles to deal with the problems that life brings our way on a daily basis, than it will experience the negative drawbacks, consequences and emotions of such thoughts manifesting within our physical reality. This branch of the Study Matrix focuses on the process of cultivating a mindset that will attract greater joy and happiness into your life.

25. Have Faith in a Higher Power – Faith is a wonderful thing, as it helps us to persist through the most difficult of times and against the greatest of odds. Decide today to empower your faith by grounding yourself to God or the Universe through prayer, relaxation and meditation. Have faith that you will be happy no matter what obstacles stand in your way. And have faith that because of your happiness things will always turn out great at the end of your day.
26. Detach Yourself from Circumstances – Circumstances are what they are. In fact circumstances are what we make them out to be at any moment in time. Decide to detach yourself mentally and emotionally from the circumstances in your life. Through detachment you will clarify your thinking and take control of what seemed so senselessly out of control moments ago. By breaking free of your emotional lock upon the circumstances of your life, you are opening up your spirit to the experience of greater happiness and fulfillment.
27. Be Grateful for What You Have – Many of us long for objects, people and circumstances that are currently out of our reach. We long for these things because we don’t yet have them in our lives. This longing brings with it desperation, dissatisfaction and despair. Within this type of emotional “soil mixture”, happiness cannot grow. The solution rests in the spirit of gratitude. Start today by taking time to say “thanks” for the wonderful things in your life. Be grateful for your health, body, your friends, family, your current possessions, safety, life, etc. The more gratitude you find in your life, the happier you will become, and the more opportunities for further gratitude will arise as you go about your day.
28. Expect to be Happy – Actually create a sense of expectation that you will always be happy with yourself, with your body, with your activities and with your life. You are in control of the expectations you send forth into the Universe. So take charge and expect to bring happiness into your life without any further hesitation or delay.
29. Believe In Yourself – Believe in yourself, your abilities, your talents, your capacity to learn and manage your daily tasks, activities and responsibilities. It is only when you have a full sense of confidence within yourself about every aspect of your life, that you will find the joy and happiness you have been searching for all along.
30. Alter Your Perspectives About Problems – Everything you see, hear, smell, touch and taste is just an opinion you made about the events and circumstances in your life. If things don’t appear to be going well… that is only your opinion. If you seem to have failed… that is only your opinion. If life seems to be going against you… that is only your opinion. Everything is an opinion and perspective that you have decided to accept. If your opinions are not bringing you the joy and happiness you seek to experience in your life, than simply decide today to change your perspective about these events and circumstances. If this is difficult to do, than ask someone else for their opinion, read a book that provides you with an alternative view of the situation, or simply decide that there are no problems in this world, only opportunities to grow and improve myself. Ask yourself, “What is the hidden opportunity here that I am not seeing?”
31. Focus on Solutions – There are no problems in this world, there are only solutions that appear as problems in order to test our resolve and character. When you focus on problems you automatically begin to feel anxious, out of control, and overwhelmed with the uncertainties that lie ahead. On the other hand, when you focus on searching for solutions, you effectively raise your levels of energy, excitement, anticipation and happiness that a solution will surely be found. Therefore decide today to begin thinking in “solutions” rather than in “problems”.

Avoid Unhappiness

By following all the principles listed above, you will be well on your way towards experiencing true unbridled childlike happiness on a daily basis. However, sometimes it’s not so much what you do that matters. It’s rather what you refrain from partaking in that has the biggest impact on your thoughts and emotions at the end of the day. Some people will work extremely hard to do the right thing in order to experience the joy and fulfillment of unbridled childlike happiness. Yet, with an sudden ill-fated decision, without a moments notice they immediately sabotage their “emotional high” by doing something silly and self-destructive. This branch of the Study Matrix focuses on two key self-sabotaging decision oriented factors that will ruin your chances of experiencing true unbridled childlike happiness. It is important that you do not underestimate these two factors, as they can ruin a perfectly happy moment without warning or prior notice. Become aware of them, learn to understand them, and slowly take charge of the circumstances in your life that bring these two factors into being.

32. Avoid Negative News – In this day of instant communication and information, it is easy to see how we can simply get caught up in a web of negativity that we cannot control. We watch people death on TV, we read about the wars raging around the world, and we feel sick, distressed and somewhat fatigued by these events. We must come to a realization that these events are very much out of our control. Getting ourselves emotionally distraught, does nobody any good. It’s important that we are not ignorant of the world around us, however it is also equally important that these events do not sabotage our resourceful emotional states. At all times we must stay in control of our emotions, while being positive, happy and moving forward. It is only through the act of making decisions and taking actions within this positive state that we can make a difference to this world.
33. Avoid Pessimistic People – Imagine this scenario. You have had the most wonderful, inspiring and motivating day you have ever experienced in your life. You’re so excited about everything that you just can’t wait to tell you best friend all the wonderful details. That evening you catch up with them at the pub and begin telling all these wonderful tales… when all of a sudden BLAM!They wipe you out with their pessimistic negativity. They tell you how these feelings will never last, how the world will always be against you, how bad luck always hides around the corner, and so forth. 10 minutes ago you were feeling on top of the world, however all of a sudden your BEST FRIEND has completely transformed your perspective about the best day of your life and turned it on its head. What you thought was your most wonderful day ever, has now potentially become your worst nightmare, and it’s all because of the perspective that you have decided to accept within your reality. There goes your energy, spirit and motivation, and it only took 10 minutes. This is a very common scenario that has robbed many creative, motivated and inspired people of their dreams. If you have friends, colleagues or family members who bring you down in this way, maybe it’s time to spend a little less time with them and more time with those who could potentially inspire you to greatness.

Be Free From Resentment

By Sarah Louise Gess


“Never apologize for showing feelings. When you do so, you apologize for the truth.” ~Benjamin Disraeli”

We often experience resentment toward other people when we find it hard to forgive them and hold onto unspoken pain.

Whenever we feel we’ve been treated unfairly, judged, or wronged, we have a very powerful internal reaction.

The emotions we experience are strong. We feel them intensely and deeply, because they challenge us to reassess the self-image we hold of ourselves.

The unexpressed painful emotions we experience as a result of other peoples’ actions have the potential to transform into resentment if they are not released in a healthy, effective, and timely way.

Resentment lives inside us, feeding on our negative feelings and emotions. It becomes stronger the longer it is ignored. It can mutate and develop into a warped veil, which prevents us from seeing the world from a healthy, balanced perspective.

If left unresolved, resentment has the power to be all consuming, and is very effective at fuelling anger.

In turn, unexpressed, internalized anger is a ticking time-bomb which can lead to abusive or self-destructive behavior, or a combination of both.

Resentment is a very personal and private emotion, as it has almost no effect on the person it is directed towards.

It resides with its owner, and causes negativity and pain.

Given a conducive set of circumstances and enough time, I can experience resentment on a powerful scale. I believe this is, in part, rooted in my formative years. I was brought up in a home where expressing strong, “negative” emotions was prohibited.

I grew up believing it was unacceptable to express hurt, disappointment, frustration, or anger toward the people who evoked these very emotions in me.

By the time I reached my teen years, I had unwittingly yet wholeheartedly perfected the internalization of painful emotions.

Resentment had found a comfortable home inside me, neighbored by my reluctance and fear of expressing myself.

Whenever anyone hurt me, intentionally or otherwise, I would simply deny my emotions by storing them in a box inside me labelled “deal with this later.” However, later never came. What did come was resentment toward the people who’d hurt me—that and anger.

At the time, I saw this as a kind of pay-off. “If I keep my feelings hidden and unexpressed, then I don’t have to risk jeopardizing the quality of my relationship with this person.”

In truth, I was terrified of rejection.

This fear fuelled my reluctance to express my pain to the people who’d hurt me. Ultimately, the person who I ended up hurting the most was me.

As a young adult I began to reflect; to try to understand how my behavior, reactions, and choices were affecting my overall well-being and happiness in life.

At first, I felt weak for not being able to consciously override my existing behavior patterns and simply create newer, healthier thought processes and actions.

I wanted more for myself than a life limited by my own self-imposed parameters.

It took a lot of honest and thoughtful self examination to begin to realize, understand, and accept what was preventing me from living a life free from bitterness.

After years of denying myself the full spectrum of my emotions, I resented anyone who stirred powerful, “negative” feelings inside me. My resentment toward others was intrinsically linked to my own inability to express painful emotions.

Looking back, I feel that if I had expressed myself more truthfully, I would not have clung so desperately to the resentment and anger. I also believe I would have welcomed forgiveness and been able to enjoy closer relationships with others more readily.

Everyone needs to express themselves. This is not a luxury; this is an absolute necessity.

To be fully free and completely ourselves, we must feel comfortable enough to outwardly express our emotions, whatever form they take.

If you are experiencing feelings of resentment, here are a few tips that may help you to let go and move forward:

Express yourself

When we deny our feelings, we are denying the truth. What kind of life are we living if we are not living truthfully?

Allowing ourselves to feel our full range of emotions is not only liberating and necessary, but it also helps cleanse us of negativity which we may be subconsciously holding on to.

Many of us are conditioned to see emotions as “good” and “bad.” To regard the complexity of emotions as either black or white belies the learning opportunities which are embedded and disguised in experiencing them.

For example, jealousy could be regarded as a “bad” emotion; however, if we open our minds and hearts, we could also see that this emotion is our own personal doorway to learning more about fear, trust, and connection.

When someone hurts us, intentionally or accidentally, we have a responsibility to ourselves to express our pain.

This needn’t be self indulgent or pitiful, but an understanding that it is our right to express that pain in an effective, healthy manner which helps us to let go and move forward.

The next time you experience a strong emotion such as fear, hurt, disappointment, anger, fury, or panic, try using this simple mantra:

“Right now I feel (INSERT EMOTION). I give myself permission to feel (INSERT EMOTION) because I have a right to express myself and my emotions.”

When we stop trying to control our feelings, and start embracing the colorful way in which our hearts communicate with us, life begins to teach us our most important lessons.

Communicate your feelings

It takes huge strength and courage to express and communicate our pain to the people who hurt us. In doing so, we expose our vulnerable side—the very part that we want to protect and keep safe.

But when we communicate painful emotions, we take a step outside of our comfort zone and into a wonderful learning and growth opportunity.

The next time someone’s actions hurt you, try telling them how you feel. For example, “When you raise your voice, I feel scared and disrespected,” or “When you ignore me, it makes me feel unappreciated.” Choose the right words to convey your feelings.

Try to express yourself from a calm and balanced frame of mind. Your words will have more effect if you are able to express them from a strong, healthy standpoint.

Remember that you are doing this for you. It may also help the relationship, but your main motivation for communicating and expressing your feelings is your commitment to living a truthful life, free from resentment.

Practice forgiveness

Forgiveness is your own personal honor. The ability to wholly and truly forgive is one of the greatest gifts you can ever give yourself.

Forgiveness sets you free from resentment’s confines; it breaks down the walls that anger builds and negativity reinforces.

When we forgive, we stop letting ours pasts dictate our presents. We acknowledge we want the very best for ourselves; accepting that our past makes us the person we are today, and embracing that.

Letting go of resentment doesn’t necessarily lead to forgiveness, but when you embrace forgiveness, resentment ceases to exist.

When we commit to expressing ourselves fully, we become stronger, more confident, and more aware.

We cannot control what other people do, but we can control how we react. When we practice truthful living, self-expression, and forgiveness, resentment simply has no place or power in our lives.